Suicide Awareness Stamp

I was thanking people for favorites on my previous stamps today and, of course, looking at the other stamps in their collections to add to my own. There are a lot of stamps out there (and lots of other things because there are lots of people who think this) that claim that suicide is cowardly. That suicide is because they were too weak to face their struggles when people live with worse. It's a very ugly, very judgmental, and very wrong view to have on this subject because you don't know what that person was going through. You'll never know or understand unless you have lived your life in their shoes. People who commit suicide often battle depression, another illness, or a combination of illnesses that you cannot understand if you have not lived it. Their desire to end their pain and suffering unfortunately drives them to this act not because they are weak, but because they feel they have been strong for too long. 

A boy from my school committed suicide last Sunday. I only spoke to him once. He shook my hand when he introduced himself to me- the only kid in my entire town who had ever done that in the eight years I have lived here- and seemed like a genuinely nice person. Right after he left, a girl I had spoken to a few times before came up to me and started telling me he was awful, that he hurt a friend of hers, that he was a cheater and a player. I almost believed her because he was way nicer than I expect people to be to me, but I couldn't. His face was too genuine. And because it was genuine, I could see pain in his eyes.

I only saw him once more after that, lying on a bench in our school's atrium. I was on another bench about fifteen feet away, waiting for my ride. I would have said hello, but he was blasting music through his headphones and looked busy with something, so I didn't want to disturb him. He looked like he had been there for a while; his things were on the ground next to him. Our principal walked by us and said hello to me; not to him. Eventually, he put his backpack on the bench, rested his head on it, and proceeded to try to take a nap. I don't think he thought his parents were coming to pick him up, so I was very relieved when they eventually did. Again, I knew he wasn't happy. I just never thought he would kill himself.

According to a friend of mine, he handcarved a good luck charm for a girl he dated, whom he remained friends with after their breakup and up until his death. 

He was on a church retreat where a relative of mine works just last weekend, before he killed himself.

I sat next to his brother in APUSH for an entire semester (and didn't actually know they were brothers until I noticed they had the same last name and looked enough alike. This was Tuesday, after I found out.)

The thing that stood out about him the most was that he dressed like he was from The Outsiders. Slicked back hair, leather or jean jacket, white V-neck shirts, aviator shades. Sometimes a fedora. The whole look, really. I liked it.

Today was his funeral.

Rest in peace, L.C. We'll miss you more than you would have ever imagined.